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Aberdeen humour from Sir James Taggart

Found - a slim volume titled Stories told by Sir James Taggart. (Dundee, London : Valentine & Sons 1926.) This book is in a series of Scottish joke books which include the famous 'bizarre' book Jokes Cracked by Lord Aberdeen.

Lord Aberdeen's pal Sir James Taggart, a former Lord Provost of Aberdeen, was also a famous storyteller, notably against his own townsmen of 'the granite city.' It was said of him that he told 1000 jokes a year. His mournful look in the above photo reminds one of the old saying that '...to a Scot a joke is no laughing matter..' Here are a few short ones to get the flavour:  'An Aberdonian went away for a month's holiday, taking with him a dark green shirt and a pound note. He changed neither of them.' Or try this: 'A traveller at Euston Station was booking a third class single to Inverness and was informed, "Change at Aberdeen.'' "Na, na," said the traveller, "I'll lake my change now, l've been in Aberdeen before."

Almost all  the jokes are on the themes of incredible meanness and/or  drunkeness. Here are a selection of four the better jokes -the first about Lord Aberdeen himself :

On one occasion when the Lord Aberdeen had been attending the assemblies in Edinburgh, he was walking along High Street when a drunken man knocked up against him.  A policeman reproved the man sharply, saying: 'Do you know that you have run into the Marquis of Aberdeen and Temair?'
'Good Lord!' said the man, 'am I as bad as that? Is there twa' of them?'

Bawbees and Suet

A woman was in the habit of going to the butcher every Saturday to get two bawbees* for a penny, for the kirk collection. One Saturday night, after getting the two bawbees, the woman said, "Do ye no'gie a bit suet wi' that?" The butcher lost his temper. "You come here every Saturday night for two bawbees. I don't want to see you again." The woman waited till the storm passed and said: "That's fine way to treat your customers."

The Revolving Carpet

A Valuator called at certain house to value the furniture. He was so long in a room upstairs that the lady of the house went up to see what was that matter. She found him reclining peacefully in an easy chair, with an empty decanter on the table beside him. But he had not altogether neglected his duty because on a sheet of paper he had written: "Revolving Carpet - 1".

"Yer Nae Wrang"

An Aberdeenshire farmer was doing himself well at the Country Hotel, when the waitress came up and said, "Will you have a little whisky or a meringue?"
"Na, na lassie," replied that farmer, "yer nae wrong. Just fill up my glass".

*Bawbee= a halfpenny.

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