Words for Wizards—a useful book at Hogwarts, perhaps

Sometimes wizards—that is, magicians— don’t have the right patter to accompany their tricks. This is where George Schulte comes in. His Words for Wizards(G. F. Schulte, Chicago 1924), which we unearthed in a pile of ephemera at Jot HQ, is a guide to what could be said as the rabbit is pulled out of a hat or knots disappear from a handkerchief. What isn’t mentioned is how unimpressed members of an audience hearing this patter might be if they’d heard the same words from other magicians who’d also used Mr Schulte’s book.

If we want custom-made material we must turn to the back of his book, where we find Schulte’s own advertisement.

 

Written to order, for any magical effect or illusion. Humorous or serious patter, specially arranged, from one act to a complete show, at one dollar per item and up.

 

Magical entertainers who “SAY IT WITH LAUGHS” add additional amusement to their entertainment. If you are interested in improving your program, you may have further particulars by writing to

                                       GEORGE SCHULTE

4263 Lincoln Avenue                                             Chicago, Illinois

 

“ Vaudeville Monologues”       “Humorous Character Stories”

And Comic Chatter specially written for any act, club and stage entertainers looking for new “ LAUGH LINES” and “NEW IDEAS” will find that we have many valuable suggestions to offer them.

           All letters receive a prompt reply. Prices are regulated by the grade of material desired. If you are interested in this particular style of entertaining, write to….

 

Schulte would seem to be a ‘ twenties version of one of those ‘ associates’ mentioned in the credits for  TV panel shows such as ‘ Have I Got News For You ‘  who provide some or all of  the gags for the supposedly witty ( and spontaneous ) professional comedians, such as Paul Merton. Judged by the material offered in Words For Wizardscomedy has come a long way since 1924. Here is some of the patter from his book:

 

For the Turban Trick in which a length of cloth is restored after having been burnt in its centre.

 

“ Allagazaza la Kokommo, a little Spamish goes a long way, as Columbus said “.

 

Following the appearance of as live rabbit from a Welsh rarebit pan.

 

“Instead of a rarebit stew, we have a funny little bunny. The rabbit seems to think it isn’t very funny. There are a few others who seem to think the same way.”

After a glass of water emerges mysteriously from a hat.

 

“ For doing this , I received from the University of Siberia, two degrees, below zero”

Not much is known about Schulte apart from the fact that he was born in 1887 and was styled (possibly by himself ) ‘ Chicago’s most popular magician .’ In one of his other collections of patter, Patter Paragraphs(1921), he calls himself ‘ the foremost penman of professional patter for MAGICIANS and VAUDEVILLE entertainers ‘.It would appear that several top illusionists agreed with this verdict. Among other entertainers, no less a man than Harry Houdini congratulated him on this book, and W. C. Fields owned a copy of Words for Wizards, which you can own for a paltry £202.

Schulte himself was aware of the added value of autographed copies of his books. He offered to send signed copies of Patter Paragraphspost-free ‘to any part of the world for just one dollar’.

Schulte was also an opponent of Darwin’s Origin of Species. In the introductory words to Words for Wizardshe quips ‘that DARWIN might of (sic) been wrong, but BARNUM was right.’ Later, his name appears on a book entitled Darwin’s Origin of Species -Science or Fantasy, but the author is a living geologist with the same name.

R.M.Healey