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| From Funny or Die site (thanks) |
From the Peter Haining Archive. These are taken from a collection compiled by Thomas Cook employees in Nottingham during the period 1987 – 95:
‘You are invited to take advantage of the chambermaid ‘
Notice in Japanese
hotel
‘Ladies are requested not to have children in the bar’
Announcement in Norwegian cocktail lounge.
‘The lift is being fixed. During that time we regret you
will be unbearable’
Notice in a Bucharest
hotel lobby.
‘The flattening of underwear with pleasure is the job of the
chambermaid’
Notice in a Yugoslav
hotel.
‘Our wines leave you with nothing to hope for ‘.
Swiss restaurant menu.
‘Ladies may have fit upstairs’
Outside a Hong Kong
tailors
‘Special today—no ice cream’
Swiss mountain inn
‘Order your summer suit. Because of big rush we will execute
customers in strict rotation’
In a Rhodes tailors.
‘We take your bag and send it in all directions’
Copenhagen airline
ticket
‘Teeth extracted by the latest Methodists’
Hong Kong dentist
[R.R.]
This reminds me of how much I miss the jocularity of Bookride. Sigh.