Some little-known scientific and mathematical facts

Jot 101 howlers pic of Cecil HuntA circle is that part of the theatre which has the most expensive seats

Water is turned into a viper when it gets too hot

The logarithm of a given number is the number of times the given number must be squared in order that the given number may be equal to this number.

To collect fumes of sulphur hold a deacon over a flame in a test tube

An eight-sided figure is called an octagon because an octopus has eight legs.

Nitrogen is not found in Ireland because it is not found in a free state.

Chlorine is obtained from common salt by electrocution.

Hydrogen may be obtained by applying a lighted taper to a jar inverted in water.

A therm is a germ that creeps into the gas meter and causes rapid consumption.

The Specific Gravity of a substance is the ratio between the weight of one gram of the substance and the weight of one gram of water.

An obtuse angle has no sides equal.

Distilled water is water that has been filtered or put through blotting paper to keep the dirt out.

Ethyl Spirit is a mannikin who shows dresses up in London

The process of turning steam into water again is called conversation.

An accumulator is a place where they rear chickens

An axiom is a thing that is so visible that that it is not necessary to see it.

The function of nitrogen is for balloons

If there was no nitrogen in the air we should die of fits of laughter.

A pentagon is a five sided square

A protoplasm is a person who is always prophecying

Steam power was invented by Wall Tyler at the end of the eighteenth century

Sir Isaac Newton invented gravity

There are many different kinds of vacuums, eg vacuum pumps and vacuum cleaners.

The density of two liquids are inversely proportional to their vertical heights

Symmetrical means relating to dead bodies.

A polygon with seven sides is called a hooligan

A line has length but no breadth.

A molecule is a girlish boy

A cypher is a bottle that squirts

The air is composed of oxygen, nitrogen and sanatogen.

Paraffin is the next order of angels above seraphims.

A circle is a figure with no corners and only one side.

A rectangle is a figure with any number of sides. Most fields are rectangles because no one bothers about their shape.

Extracted from The Howler Omnibus by H. Cecil Hunt

[R.M. Healey]

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