Model School and DJ rules

From a book by the YBA Angela Bulloch called Rule Book (2000). An artist's book which collects together official lists and full plain colour pages with their official names ('Pantone Yellow C'). Basically new conceptual art-- the lists include things taken from the side of packets, directions to make a hair lock, health warnings, The Universal Declaration of Human Rights etc., +  this list of rules from a (Russian?) model school.

August VIII Model School

1 The dormitories may not be locked and will be checked at night by four security guards to deter intruders.

2 The dormitories are strictly single sex. Members of the opposite sex are not allowed.

3 You are expected to run five kilometers at 6:30am and then do two and a half hours in the gym each morning.

4 Your diet will be strictly controlled for you and you will be expelled for gaining weight.

5 Alcohol, smoking (for girls), sex, and chocolate are banned.

6 If you have crooked teeth they will be straightened by means of braces or they will be capped.

7 If your nose is not straight or your ears stick out too much they will be fixed by Dr, Rudenko and if the implants are available you may also have breast surgery.

8 Each model will make a promotional video and you will be required to make a speech in English for it.

9 The fees are 400 Roubles a month. Also 15% of your future earnings will go to your agent.

10 You cannot do anything without your agent's permission.

Sounds more like Cromwell's New Model Army and assumed to be real. The agent's commission sounds modest. This list of instructions pinned outside a DJ's booth sounds authentic.

1. Say 'Hi'  then 'BYE' (better yet, wave from the dance floor)

2. If the DJ is in position he obviously cannot speak to you.

3. No person in this booth is employed by a record store.

4. The dance floor is where all the people are dancing - NOT HERE.

5. Since the DJ doesn't DJ in the lounge, the loungers shouldn't lounge in the DJ booth.

6. When in the DJ booth, if you find yourself saying 'Excuse me' more than once, then you should excuse yourself from the booth.

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