Grooming by letter? Innocent pre-web days…

pen-pal-letterWhat do you think of pen friendship? My daughter has been introduced, through a club, to a pen friend in France, and so far the letters received from the French girl are quite nice in every way. But I have been studying them recently, and, here and there, have noticed remarks which might conceivably indicate that the writer is a woman and not a girl. There is nothing undesirable whatever in these letters, but I have heard so much of the clever and cunning ways certain types of foreigner have of insinuating themselves in the minds of girls, that I am somewhat in doubt as to whether this correspondence should be allowed to go on. Perhaps you will kindly give me your views on this matter.

There are several reputable agencies in this country for putting correspondents in touch with foreigners. One of their expressed aims is to promote international goodwill. Often an interchange of visits results from the pen friendships thus formed., In so far as this correspondence furthers the exchange of views of general interest –for example, young people tell of their families, schools, occupations and excursions—they serve an excellent purpose and can be very educative. The idea is to link up correspondents of about the same age and standard of living.

If your daughter was introduced by a reliable source you have little to fear. It is usual for correspondents to exchange photographs at an early stage; if this has not yet been done, you might request this favour. Then, unless her correspondent is intending to deceive, you will be able to form a pretty good estimate of her age. In any case, you will do well to supervise the letters both ways. In the event of your daughter wishing to accept an invitation to visit France, you should first take up references —through the club or privately—which would leave no doubt as to the absolute trustworthiness of her prospective hosts.

An extract from Real Life Problems and their Solutions (1938) by R. Edynbry

One thought on “Grooming by letter? Innocent pre-web days…

  1. Nancy

    In addition to the supervision, I think it is also recommendable for the letter writer to write clearly to avoid miscommunication. I had a pen pal many years ago. I found her name and address in my high school’s monthly subscription of a Catholic magazine. When she ran away from home, she boarded the plane and came to my house unexpectedly, much to the anger of my parents. We had to convince her to return home lest her parents would worry. On a similar note, here’s my experience on writing letters:


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