More hilarious bits from Denys Parsons’ Much Too Funny for Words

Detectives making last-minute enquiries went to a stable in Berkshire yesterday. They wanted to interview the occupier.

Evening Standard.

Miss Y—, the well known singer was nearly poisoned at one time. So she said at the meeting on Tuesday. When she stated that she had been nearly poisoned , the features of the members expressed regret.

Irish Paper.

This policy offers absolute security in the event of any kind of fatal accident.

Insurance advert

London firemen with rescue gear were called early yesterday to Dorset Street, Marylebone, where a man fell into a basement yard. He was lifted to road level, injured, and taken to hospital.

Daily Mail.

The young woman, with a baby in her arms, appeared at the window amidst flames and smoke and yelled quick proof to the editor.

Sunday Paper.

The lad was described as lazy, and when his mother asked him to go to work he threatened to smash her brains out. The case was adjourned for three weeks in order to give the lad another chance.

Manchester Paper.

The service was conducted by te Rev. Charles H—–MA, the bridegroom. The service was of a quiet nature owing to the recent death of the bride.

Blackpool Times.

WANTED, a Gent’s or Lady’s Bicycle for a Pure Bred Sable and White Collie.

Lincolnshire Paper.

There is a sub-department at Scotland Yard which looks after Kings and visiting potentates, Cabinet Ministers, spies, anarchists, and other undesirables.

South  London Paper.

Miss Nellie Peters received painful injuries yesterday from the talons of a large horned owl which she captured in her bare hands. She will be stuffed and mounted and put on display in Main Street.

Elder( Pennsylvania) Gazette.

The excavations started in North Africa in 1939 were interrupted by the war. The war was sponsored by the American School of Prehistoric Research.

Boston Herald.

                                    THE FEEBLE-MINDED



Wolverhampton Evening News.

Every Friday, from some weeks to come, the railway will run cheap excursion to Scotland and several other towns in the north of England.

Cambridge Chronicle.

The dispensary, however, will be open in the afternoon to one-thirty to four on Monday to Friday for decapitated students with the nurse in charge.

Pomona College Student Life.

Milk and Soda Water fresh from the cow

Notice in Tea Shop

I once got a circular from a man who grew potatoes containing his photograph, and, . I think, an autobiography

Musical Standard.

Patients who are NCOs will wear their chevrons if marked ‘ up ‘, and if confined to bed, will be pinned to the wall of the marquee above their beds.

Army hospital notice.

Presiding Superior Judge R—-G—-will be speaker, and he will tell some humorous anecdotes while doing some underwater spear-fishing.

Santa Ana (California) Register.

To be continued.

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