Most books of etiquette published seventy or more years ago. have comic value .If they were written by foreigners anxious to ‘ educate ‘ their compatriots in the ways of the English there is a strong likelihood that they will be occasionally hilarious. Such a book is English Etiquette, which was published at St Christopher’s, Letchworth, a radical and culturally significant independent school that had established a printing press by the late 1920s. Its author, a certain Dr R. U. Hingorani, an Indian who was active from 1928 to 1930, according to the records, and appears to have been a Harley Street practitioner around that time. The booklet’s aim was to familiarise Indian immigrants with the customs of the English.
Here is the good doctor’s advice on :
Personal habits
It is a social crime to lick your fingers when turning over the pages of a book. An educated Englishman values his books as part of his personal property—he looks after them and keeps them clean. If he lends them to a friend it is a personal favour and he expects that friend to return the books in the same condition as they were lent. Licking the fingers while turning over the pages, besides being considered a dirty habit, will, if persisted in, soon spoil the appearance of a book, giving it a ‘dog-eared’ look and detract from its value…
You should never overlook another person’s newspaper or book…It is quite in order to ask for a loan of a newspaper or book but you should wait until he owner has completely finished reading and then politely make your wish known…
In England, as in other countries, an attractive personal appearance is a great asset in any walk of life but to attend to one’s toilet in public is a very bad social error. For instance, finger nails must always be kept scrupulously clean—this is a very important point as dirty finger nails are taken as evidence of a person’s bad upbringing—but they must never be cleaned in public. Ears and nose should always be attended to in private and you must never play about with your fingers when talking to another person…
Another bad error is to talk to a lady with your hands in your pockets. This shows that you are not so accustomed to talk with well-bred ladies and that your primary education has been defective…
European and Far Eastern people lend emphasis to their speech when talking with friends and acquaintances by gesticulating with their hands. This is quite incorrect in English eyes. A person who continually uses his hands in conversation is considered to have had an inadequate education…Pointing with the hands should always be avoided as this is considered a very rude habit…
Smoking is a universal habit, but even so, there is a code of etiquette for smokers in England…It is an unwritten law that a man should not smoke when entering a private apartment or house. He has no right to do so and should throw his cigarette away before he sets foot inside the door. A visitor may be offered a cigarette bit if he is not invited to sit down or if the call is for a few minutes only, it should be refused. The invitation is merely a formal act of politeness and the person offering the cigarette does not expect his offer to be accepted…
In conversation.
- Don’t repeat the same thing over and over again.
- Don’t spread gossip about other people
- Don’t indulge in sarcasm or use phrases which can have a double meaning
- Such conversation my be clever but it is often misunderstood and therefore resented
- Don’t use you temper in argument. To argue in a loud voice indicates loss of self control
- Don’t be too complimentary in your speech. You will be labelled ‘ gushing’ and people will doubt your sincerity.
- Don’t grumble. People will avoid you if you are always miserable
- Don’t speak your mind on all occasions but adapt your speech to your company.
- Don’t boast or try to impress an English girl by a display of your money or a list of your scholastic attainments. This, in England, shows very bad breeding.
- Don’t try to bluff people—you will be certainly be found out in the long run.
- Don’t ask anyone for details of their age, income or family life. This is very impolite.
However, thirty or more years before feminism was being discussed, Dr Hingorani showed himself to be a typical representative of a certain class of men in their attitude to women in their ‘charge’.
Table manners
…A man should not seat himself until all the ladies present are seated and he should draw out her chair for the lady who is in his charge and who will be seated on his right. When he sits down he should do so in an easy manner—if he sits on the edge of his chair and looks uncomfortable, his neighbours will probably conclude that he is not used to mixing with such good society as that in which he finds himself…
Before the service begins a man should exchange a few words with the ladies on either side of him. He should not in any circumstances enter into conversation with the guests sitting opposite him before he speaks to his immediate neighbours. Towards the end of a meal when talk usually becomes general, guests often exchange remarks across the table, but a man must not neglect the ladies to the right and left of him…
…Try to eat at the same speed as your companions, but if you can’t, it is better to leave part of a course uneaten on your plate than to keep the whole company waiting for you to finish…
It is customary to offer cocktails or sherry whilst guests are assembling for a luncheon or dinner party. When accepted, sip your drink slowly between conversation, as it is not correct to gulp it down in one draught.
…Soup should be drunk from the side of the spoon, not from the point, and if the spoon is only about half-filled at one time, it can be manipulated easily. It should be charged by drawing it across the plate from the bottom to the top, i.e. away from yourself, and if it is necessary to tilt the plate, although this is better avoided, then tilt it in the same direction…
…Fish will be served after soup…When eating fish, if a guest is unfortunate enough to feel several bones in his mouth , he should remove these as unobtrusively as possible with his fork. One small bone may be removed with the fingers…
To be continued.
R. M. Healey