More howlers, misprints and poor grammar from Much too funny for words by Denys Parsons.

1) Misprints

Two tablespoonful of paraffin oil added to the footpath will relieve and refresh aching feet.   Local paper.

The Churchillian jaw was outthrust and the Prime Minister thumped the despatch box with a heavy fish. Canadian paper.

A Grand Jury in Los Angeles have indicted welter weight boxer Art Aragon on a charge of offering a bride to an opponent.   Bradford Telegraph and Argus.

You really do no good by constantly scalding a child

Woman’s paper.

By this time the blenny had learned to come up to the surface of the water and take shreds of muscle from my friend’s fingers.  The Scotsman.

According to the estimation of Mine Host of Saxmundham, the Saxulation of Popmundham is 1,368.    Suffolk Paper.

Aunts in the house are a serious nuisance and are not easily expelled once they have established a kingdom. Perhaps a chemist in your town could help you. 

People’s Friend.

England’s team manager said|: ‘There seems to be some hoodoo over the English forwards in their inability to get gals’. 

Owing to a plague of wasps in the Sheffield district, farmers have had to stop harvesting operations to take wasp wasp nests before they could gather in their wasps.

Edinburgh Evening Dispatch.

Along the Parkway schoolchildren hurled roses in the General’s path. Two schoolgirls presented him with a large bouquet of roses . ‘God bless you my children, and thank you,’ he said as he killed both girls. Philadelphia Paper.

With nine wickets down, Enthoven changed his tactics and bit both bowlers.

Manchester Paper.

Following on yesterday’s defeat of the Government in the Dail, a meeting of the Cabinet was hell this morning.  Dublin Paper.

The letter pointed out that whereas there were definite allocation of oranges from time to time, the supply of demons was very short.   Northants Paper

Humidity is perhaps the distinctive Christian virtue.   Indian Paper.

Many other brides in the collection are scheduled as ancient monuments. Bath Paper.

When this is done sit on a very hot stove and stir frequently. Cookery book.

At Taunton this week an ex-soldier was charged on remand with having bigamously married, his awful wife being alive.  West Country Paper.

An official of the Patent Office said that many of the inventors abandon their parents during the first year of life.   Surrey Paper

Mr John M’Fadden was reappointed to wind, oil and keep the Town Clerk in order.

Irish Paper.

Just to let you know that your patient has been booked for her confinement under Miss Watson’s car under the recommendation of the public Health Authority.

Letter received by doctor.

2) Poor grammar and poor journalism.

Riding at speed on their bicycles, dogs frequently catch the boys, and in some cases the owners think it is amusing.  Rhodesian Paper.

A specially qualified public health inspector has been sent to Orleonsville to detect the presence of rats and eventually to work out a programme of extermination. 395 applications for adoption have been sent to the authorities concerned and numerous offers of hospitality are being considered by the public health service. Algerian Paper.

They took with them an Irish terrier doand a brown sheep dog—both pets. Both were wearing horn-rimmed glasses. Manchester Paper.

Mr Thorbury was born in Victoria and immediately entered the engineering profession.   Vancouver Paper.

The marriage of Miss Anna Bloch and Mr Willis Dashwood, which was announced in this paper a few weeks ago, was a mistake and we wish to correct. Colorado Paper

Another performance of the pantomime is to be given in the Parish Hall, and this will give all those who missed it another chance of doing so. Sporting Paper.

It was from an aerial slung between these masts that Melba, in 1920, sang the first broadcast music. Evening Paper.

Our motto is to give our customers the lowest prices and workmanship.

Sign at dry cleaners.

To be continued…

R. M. Healey

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